{embrace your inner child}

This was going to be one of my journal entry's but sadly that morning I forgot to grab it from my room and had to write this on a random piece of paper.... and ended up being to lazy to copy it into my journal. So I would like to share it with all of you.

Humans create everything. From the smallest insignificant things, to the most precious thing anyone or anything could create...life. We have grown up being creative and having a wild and broad imagination, yet when we grow up it is slowly choked out of us by the adults forcing us to grow up and take on responsibilities. We have become boring and dead to the world because or imagination has been cut off. I like to create art and write about my feelings and opinions on things but I don't do it as much as I should. I feel like I could write more because I love it but whenever I try to write anything my mind wont stay on one subject. It bounces around and reminds me of what bad ADD I have. I just cant stick to one thing and that makes my writing "bad". Yet I still try to explore that creative side of me that has been smothered and is now being slowly re-kindled, hopefully to become an uncontrollable flame again.

I feel...

I am not a robot...

I feel.

 I feel the warmth from a hug. I feel the chill from good music that touches my soul. I care about other peoples feelings and how they veiw me. I dont do things on command and I choose to do things that I enjoy and that make me happy. I do things for no reason just for fun, which to a robot would be illogical. I like to just sit and waste time listening to sounds and thinking about my day. I love and get attached to things to the point where I care more about their feelings and well being more than my own. I am attracted to certain features and personalities. I like spending time with people that I care about and just waste time away, although to humans we wouldnt call that wasting. We would call it truly living and loving the life you have. Take pride in the small things that make you human. Embrace that which defines you and makes you different from others. Dont focus on schedules and appointments, instead strive to live like today is your last day. Spend every moment trying to become a better person.

Live Life to the Fullest

Tonight was one different than all the others. I have tried....Scratch that. I havent tried at all to create a better realationship with my younger brother Andrew, despite the fact that I have always wanted a big brother. It started off as a normal day.... The usual boring school where the only 2 classes I pay attention in are Welding and Creative Writing. Then I went to work, which to most High School kids is just another realm of hell, yet to me it is somewhere I love to be. It makes my day brighter because I get to do what I love. I get to work on cars and fix things with my hands. I also get to talk and meet a lot of new people, as well as party with some of the greatest employers and managers someone could ask for. They are the funniest and kindest group of people you will meet. So getting back to my brother, I went home from work and my pocket vibrated when I was walking in my door. Exited that someone might actually want to do something with me so I dont have to sit on my butt the whole night, I eagerly whipped out my phone and saw it was from my mom...:/ ya thats the only person that ever texts me. She said she was going to be gone all night and that I would be watching my little brother all night while she takes my sister to her basketball banquet. I was really dissapointed because now I had a responsibility and couldnt just lay down and listen to music where I would eventually fall asleep. She told me to make it as fun as possible and I actually thought of how much that would meant to me if I had an older brother that would actually want to spend time with me and be my friend, even if it was for one night so I could get a taste of how much fun it would be to be him. So I decided to do it. We really didnt do to much, I mean we played some Call of Duty and watched some Family Guy on Netflix as we sat on my bed like a couple of lounge lizards eating ice cream and frozen Costco burritos. Now this may not seem like some crazy night to most of you, and believe me it wasnt. But I was able to spend some quality time with him and bond through the crude humor of Family Guy and the incredible amounts of blood and gore in Black Ops 2. I found out how much he loved it as I was walking into my room and he was FaceTiming my dad who is gone almost all the time. He was talking about me like I was some kind of Super Hero that had just saved him from imminent death, when all I had truly done was have him take part in one lazy afternoon as a Senior in High School. I think we take for granted what we have and are able to do and especially the influences we have on kids younger than us, including our siblings. They look up to us like Gods and Godesses or however you spell that. We need to take them under our wing and love them while we can because life goes by fast, and if we dont slow down and take advantage of everthing we can, we might miss those opportunties to enrich other peoples lives, as well as your own.

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

 



The Three Musketeers

I love having the option to write about someone else because I get to talk about someone that means a lot to me and usualy while im thinking about why I love them so much, I realize why they truly are important to me. Well my 2 best friends are about the only thing in this world that keeps me sayne and give me a reason to get up everyday. Ever since 9th grade we have been the Three Musketeers and we would do everything together. Since we were to young to drive anywhere we would always ride our bikes or find some other way to get out of our house and do something acutally fun. The fun thing about my friends is that we didnt even have to do anything to have fun. All we had to do was be together and that was enough. We were like this all the way up until the end of last year, when one of my friends started having problems with his family that would make him extremely depressed and left him wanting to do nothing. He would only talk to us a little and just tell us that he was fighting with his parents... Little did we know it was a lot bigger than that. It started getting so bad that he had convinced himself that there was no point in living anymore and attempted suicide 3 times without anyone knowing, except things went wrong the 3rd time. He hung a belt on the top of his door and tried to hang himself. As he was hanging there and gasping for his last breaths while his limbs went numb he knew he couldnt go through with it. He used all of the strength he had left to punch a hole in his wall and pry himself up to release the pressure off his neck. Yet he still couldnt get himself down because the belt was locked and on the otherside of the door. As he started to panic he screamed for someone to help him and his mom came rushing down the stairs and got him down. Immediatly he was taken to a depression/rehab center to deal with these problems. He also attended this place for school as well and was able to graduate early. Well we knew none of this had even happened, and our best guess was that he dropped off the face of the planet. He came back to his house just a few months ago as a completly changed person with a very bright look for the future and is going to be serving an LDS mission in a couple months. He has been able to influence and talk to me about all of my problems and help me through them. He is a great example to me and now we are all able to hang out again and continue on just like old times. I am so greatful for him in my life and I love him to death. This has truly opened my eyes to how real suicide is and how much we need to look for people that need a friend or just someone to talk to. We could be that one person that could change their mind for the better and be there for them when no one else is. 

Summer as a hooker

I honestly cant wait for summer!! Today felt like the total beggining because at work I was actually hot and didnt have to wear my sweatshirt under my normal shirt. Then I came home with the windows down looking at the beautiful sun that was still up and shining ( thank the lord for daylight savings) As I hopped out of my truck I smelt my neighbors grilling up something tastey that completely intoxicated me while I became intstantly hungry for some hamburgers and hot dogs. Yet this summer will be a life changer for me. I am really scared because this is my last year of high school and honestly I dont know what I want to do. I have to make some big decisions that will impact me for the rest of my life. If I had it my way I would just stay this way forever and not grow up. Its funny how much we change because as a kid all I wanted was to grow up and have all of the privalages and responsibilities of an adult. Now all I want is the care free and high spirited life that I used to have, never having a care in the world. All I can do is wait and hope that I make the right decions and dont end up workin as a hooker for my lunch money.

Family

Thinking about space and the endless quilities that surround it can truly rack your brain, until you realize that there is no point in knowing anything about space because it can never be fully understood. So you go on living your miserable and pointless lives to one day end up old geezer and having accomplished nothing in your life. But what if we ask ourselves this question, but pertaining to our life and future? I think this could really help us put our lives into perspective and to create almost a guide map to our future self. This would make it much easier for us to focus on our goal of what we want and what kind of life we wish to live. So what is the problem with this and why dont we do it? The most comman reason is that we dont know what we truly want. Our goals and priorities change with age and experiance, therefore rendering our map for the future useless. I have been asked multiple times what I want to do in the future or as a career. For most of my teen years I dreamt of being a fighter pilot and then going commercial and flying for a big company, slowly working my way up the seniority chain and by the end of my life making a great living for myself. The only flaw with this is that I will start making a good living for myself near the end of my career. Yes flying is an absolute passion of mine that continues to interest and exite me. But the only thing that has made humans progress and actually want to move forward on their own...money. Money holds you hostage from doing the things that make life happy and exiting. Yet this is the drive of everyone on this planet, even if it conflicts with something they hate doing, it is worth it to be wealthy and have a relaxed lifestyle. I do believe that wealth is one of the great accomplishments in this life, but it can also be a huge burden. This depends on the kind of person you are, the morals you believe, and the standards you have. I would think that if I had a lot of money it would be much easier to focus on the family, friend, and fun aspect of life instead of thinking about bills and pricetags. In the end I think that we really should focus on doing the things we like and can progress in, instead of just the jobs that will make you easy money. Focus on the real meaning of life.... family.